The Universe, Unexpected Kindness and my Un-doing

It feels like I received a crash course on life and living in the last few days . I’ve come undone, not sure if I am fully dusted.

I wish the circumstances were different, under which I learned my lessons but Que Sera Sera….

Had a dear family member who took ill and is recovering. This is and continues to be one of my toughest semesters in my degree of life.

It brought out the “meaningless” in all the dimensions of long term pursuit – career, position, purpose, materialism, ego, intellect, college, university, power, recognition, relationship status.

It brought in “deeper meaning” in the dimensions of day to day living – being present, being vulnerable, happy, kind, empathetic, loving, selfless, in doing random acts of kindness, in having gratitude.

Funnily enough, it’s not that I hadn’t read or heard about these perspectives before. It’s just that I wasn’t ready to receive the message, in its truest sense…..not yet….not until now.

On the one hand, it has been humbling. Feels like being brought to your knees, battered and bruised. On the other hand, it is very freeing – there is a huge sense of freedom when you truly understand how much is out of your control and that all you have, all you really have is “the now”.

I am grateful for this and more.

I am grateful for the very basic – every time I wake up, breathe, sleep, eat, can take my limbs and direct them to where I want to ( most of the time ) learn, laugh, smile, cry.

I am grateful for my family, friends and everyone who share a bit of their life with me and fill my life up with unexpected kindness.

I do believe I have had a close encounter with the Universe and its powers in the last few years, and even more so, in the beginning of 2019.

Learned that, one, payback happens in strange ways. Don’t always expect it as a straight line linear equation, through your lens of justice and fairness. You are bound to be disappointed.

Consume yourself in “Pay Forward” (hold the lift door, wait your turn, smile, wish good morning, hug, show random acts of kindness) . The pay back will eventually happen. Have faith. Our scriptures and holy books over centuries have confirmed that a few times over.

Second, a lesson on the less talked about, often avoided – emotions of jealousy, envy, greed, want of someone else’s success, achievements, health, beauty or the perfect life. In this context, you sometimes might catch yourself asking the question “Why Me“. I think I now understand the joys in suffering.

Suffering early, keeps you humble, accept life as it is and with equanimity and become more tolerant towards fellow human beings – cut from the same cloth. Life is a great leveler of sorts.  We all get our turn. As my Kilimanjaro guide once said “ For every ascent, there is a descent, for every descent, there is an ascent ”

And third, the Universe has a plan and the dots do connect. All you need to show is some patience, fortitude and cultivate an ability to listen carefully to resonate with the vibrations. If only and I say this many times now to myself everyday…..If only you choose to pause.